On my mind

It's beautiful outside tonight. I really just wanna hang out there all day. Really, all day.

I didn't go to church today, I didn't really wanna see anyone, or be cooped up inside for three hours. I was having a bit of a rough day.

I went to the dog park instead. I love being there, I love hangin with the pups, seeing them interact and I love having a bit of a quite place outside to sit and write my Alex.

I hate deciding what to write him. I'm so used to us telling each other everything about our days, and how we are. I don't say a lot how I miss him, and I try not to ramble on about my life, like I usually do.

I enjoy quite time to myself, probably more than people think I should. It's not in a depressed way, cause I'm not. I just like thinking, relaxing, or writing(which I usually am) I like being with people, but being alone is nice too.

I'm enjoying what I think will be my last warm winter. I have a feeling that by this time next year I will be cold haha. I'm loving the weather outside lately. I wish my driver side window was able to roll down, I hate that it's broken :( Who would like to lend(and yes I mean lend, we'll have money in a few weeks) me 120 to fix it?! No, nobody, ok moving on.

I miss my Alex always, though I (try to) rarely show it. I feel like now I'm carrying a new title of "Army Wife", it's my job to be strong. This is going to be our life, I knew it before I married him. I know there are going to be deployments, and him being gone a bunch. But I also know that we're gonna have a great life, and I am so excited for it!

I really hope this isn't sounding like a downer blog. Yes? No? do tell

It was then she realized, she had a problem

I feel like I'm so busy, but not at the same time.

It is mostly stuff that Alex needs me to do haha.

I have to upgrade our health care.

Put money in his account.

Send envelopes to Benning, cause he forgot his ha

Go print out pictures to send him

And of coarse stuff I need to get done

Put money in my 2nd account.

Go to the Gym

Go get my military ID. Which will be tough cause of work

Take the pups out

Then future things that need to get done.(Next Few Weeks)

Switch our car insurances over

Get new phones

Get Alex his new ring before graduation

Book hotel for BCT Grad

Oh and lets not forget the things I want to do

Go tanning

Read more books

Learn to crochet

Learn to cook

See at least one 5$ movie a week

Watch all my shows haha

I know it seems like not a lot, but it definitely feels like it. Especially with work. And the fact that I've been taking Grandpa to lunch everyday. So just those two take go from about 1030-1900 everyday roughly.

In other news, I have had a fabulous week, and received 3, yes 3 letters from my wonderful husband. He sounds like he is doing good. Even with the drills yelling in everyone's face. He says he loves the environment there, no not sarcastically, because he says the drills instantly put the knuckleheads in their place, and all the morons shut up haha. I know he's gonna do so awesome there. I'm sure anyone who knows him knows he will! He is probably one of the most respectful guys, and the easiest person to get along with like ever! If you know him, you like him. *Sigh* I miss him

Time is going a little faster though I can tell :)

Cause hey! Only 52 days!

Well were leaving in 52 days, get to see him in 53.

52! thats less than 2 months!

Anyways. To get to the title of this post. As many of you know, I love QT. I love the Diet Dr. Pepper at QT. I usually have about 2-4 a day. Which I really dont think is bad, cause it's diet. No Cal, No sug and it fills me up before I eat, therfore I eat a lot less throughout the day. I know water does the same thing, it just doesnt taste as good haha.

Well yesterday I didn't have any, not on purpose, I just didn't. And I didn't notice until about 2 hours into my horrible awful headache. It hurt sooo bad! Then I started to feel sick cause of how bad the headache was. But I didn't want to get a drink at 2200 cause I know I would be up all night if I had one that late. So I took some ibuprofen and stuck it out. Then I started to feel worse. And then came the throw up. Yes I got such a bad headache from not having my diet dp that I was throwing up. Not a lot but still.

And ya know what I learned from all this...

Always drink your diet soda BEFORE the headaches come

It's Friday and I'm OK

It's been a week and two day since I last saw him, and 2 days since I last talked to my Alex. The first week was soo very hard, but I can tell it's getting better and going by a little faster! I'm really happy that he is actually doing something now, instead of in reception. I can tell he was getting so anxious, and I just wanting to get started. Besides, the sooner he starts, the sooner he's done!

In the meantime, while he gone here is what I have to look forward to.

Seeing this movie with all the girls tomorrow! So excited!

Going here tomorrow night with all the adults, and my friend Blaize!

Hahaha losing weight! With Alex being gone I'm certain to lose weight because

1. I just haven't been eating a lot
2. It's easier to whip up some egg whites then to go grab food, like we do a lot!
3. I have to keep busy, so I work out!
4. I'm determined!
5. I've already lost a few pounds

And now I shall tell you what is going to keep me going while my Alex is gone

Yes, my numerous daily trips to QT. At least 2-4 a day, Diet DP with a dash of cherry and vanilla yumm. It was so weird I was on my way home from work a couple days ago, bawling, and I stopped and got my drink, and it was so weird how it just kinda calmed me down. I know I sound like a freak but it really did!

My doggers. I stay busy with taking these guys on bi daily trips to the dog parks and on walks. I love these guys. Even though they can be punks, they're still cute.

I don't a picture of this one, I'll put some up tomorrow. But all my family and friends!!

I love you guys!

In closing of this post I would like to leave you all with this

I love old us haha

I miss

• Numerous runs to QT. *Even past midnight.*
• Trips to Walmart past midnight *looking for absolutely nothing*
• Nightly foot rubs *no I am not over exaggerating, ~every night~*
• laying in bed talking about our day *for the 2 weeks we were married we made sure to end our night with telling eachother about our day, usually falling asleep to that. Even if we spent all day together*
• Being warm at night *grrr freezing cold bedroom*
• Taking our dogs on walk and to the park *I still go everyday, It's just not as fun by my self*
• Dates *Nothin better than dinner and a movie on weeknights*

I just having fun, and being with My Best Friend

*63 Days*

The Time Will Fly

Yesterday I said goodbye to my Alex

It was sad, I cried as we kissed outside his hotel.

Yes, I am sad. But more than anything I am very happy.

I couldn't be more excited for him, because of how excited he his.

Not only am I excited for him, but I'm excited for us.

The sooner this done with, the sooner we get our own place,

And the sooner we get to start our adventure.

Yes, I am going to miss him like crazy.

But I'm not going to fixate on the time he is gone.

I'm gonna get a lot of stuff done.

Kick out some New Years Resolutions,

And enjoy the time I have left with my family and friends,

till me and Alex get stationed somewhere new.

I'm so proud of him, and the choice he made for us

I know he is going to do so amazing at his job in communications.

I can't wait till we get to be together again and start our lives,

I'll be missin him, but for now I'll have to swoon over these :)

Yes, I am married

First of, let me begin to tell you why so soon, in order of importance.

• Alex will be in basic training from the 29th till he graduates on March 11th. He then starts AIT on March 15. Which if you can imagine is no time for a wedding, and were not even too sure if he will be in Arizona at all during those 2 days.
• Um Basically were in Love
• I want to start school in January, and me being an army wife, get mondo mula por escuela!
• Not just school but excellent benifits for everything!
• Being engaged is ssssssssoooooooo OVERRATED!

But let me tell you I am so happy we did it early! It was a really last min thing. We wore jeans and t's and had the bishop do it in the front yard. As unplanned and "redneck" it may have been the acctual ceremony was perfect. We still plan on having a ring ceremony and reception sometime when he gets back. That's why there are no pictures, cause I didn't really wanna remember this as the wedding, I know I'm weird.

I know We've only been married 4 days or so. But I LOVE it! I love never having to say goodnight, and be with him all the time. I'm so happy that I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. It's so crazy to think about it, cause I never would have thought when I saw this hot guy at GNC, that I was totally crushing on, that we would be married three years later. . But I'm so glad thats how it all turned out :)

My Foo

I thought I would share this beautiful picture of my lovely fiance with you all.

Oh and Casey


Greatest picture ever?




I think so

I Am

ENGAGED!!

And oh so excited!

It all started last week when me and Alex had a little talk last Sunday,(not 2 days ago but last week) Alex was saying to me how he wants to join the army, so he can have a good job, and he was telling me all the good benifits and all. I told him I thought that sounded like a good idea, and I wanted him to do whatever made him happy. But he said he wants to do all of this so we can get married, and make a good life for us.

So we were kind of talking about it the whole week, and by Wednesday we decided we were getting married, and By Friday we he basically asked me and we decided the date.

So Saturday comes along, and we go pick out a ring. Then go back to my house, and get ready to tell the family. We told my parents and they were so excited! And then we went around to all the family's and told everyone and text everyone. So fun!

Then today I went to pick up Alex, and I got out of the car, and Alex had my ring, and he got down on one knee and really proposed, it was quite romantical :)

SOOO Here's the deal! Alex leaves for basic training on Dec 29. That is 9 weeks. And He comes back in March for 2 weeks, and WERE GETTING MARRIED MARCH 13, 2010!!! But the sad thing is He leaves for Advanced training 2 days later, for 5 months :(. BUUTTT I haven't found out if I can go yet, were going by the recruiters office tomorrow morning to sort out all the specifics. But I know for sure that in at least 9 months we'll be living on a base somewhere on our on and I can't wait :)

But I'm so excited to be getting married!! I still cant believe it. I love Alex so much, and I can't wait to wake up everyday next to him! I'm so excited for where our life is gonna go, and I couldn't be happier than I am now :)

*our first picture together, over two and a half years ago*

*my ring :)*

please ignore the hideous nail polish

My weekend so far

This weekend I saw 3 movies in theaters, over the coarse of about 19-20 hours. Good Times, good times. On Friday night me and Alex went and saw,



The Fourth Kind

What to say about this movie? Well it was pretty freaky cause it had real legit scenes. Hard evidence to deny. But in the end did I walk away believing in aliens? No, no it didn't. Cause I have never believed or been scared of that. I just don't think that could ever really happen. But who knows.

Then this morning we went and saw couples retreat. (Yay for 5$ movies before noon!)

I loved this movie!! It was so hilarious and I loved Vince Vaughn's character. You never really see him like a lovey kind of character but he totally was in this. It was great! The ending was pretty precious and predictable to, which I don't hate.

Tonight I went with Alex, and his mom and saw,

The Men Who Stare at Goats.

Umm, not really sure what to say, parts were funny, and it had an interesting story line, but I was kinda confused a lot of the movie. Or maybe it was just a little weird. Ya that's probably it. It did involve a few scenes with guys on acid trips.

I just wanted to take this take this time to say how much I love my new job and having my weekends now! Oh and the job itself, its pretty nice, and excellent pay!

Stuff on my mind

First of I would like to proudly announce Thrusday will be my last day at the K!!

After which I will start my new job on Monday!

Which consist of...

1. No weekend

2. No nights 1-7 baby!

3. Better pay. About 55-60 more a week

4. No rude and creepy customers

5. A whole lot of driving. I love driving

6. I can start finally caring about how I look and what I wear! Get to be cute again!

I'm so excited! I'm starting a new job as a nanny to a family in North Scottsdale. They have 2 twin 14 year olds and 3 triplet 12 year olds. Basically my job will be taking them to all their lessons and doing errands. I'll be making more and have about 10 less hours a week I have to work. And the best part is, I can finally start getting cute! This sounds wierd but when I work at circle K, I get all showered and nice but I just end up gross end of the day, like seriously circle K smells soooo bad.

Secondly, I have a bit of sad news. I have a serious love hate relationship with carbs. Like I love them, and they hate me..sad. Anyways so begining tomorrow Im cutting all ties with this heatbreaker. Yep, I'm planning on kicking my butt, with eating and in the gym. I've been loosing weight, I just need to make sure I do stay away from all the food bad for me. For sure

C. I Love my boyfriend. Like seriously he is amazing. I for reals laugh sooo much when I'm with him. Like he put me in tears tonight from laughing so much.

And Lastly. Thanks for everyone and thier nice comments and good advise. Its funny cause my mom was saying how she was suprised I wrote that on my blog for the world to see, and she said I really must be healing. I guess maybe talking about it is sort of healing. The thing is I've never really told anyone about what happened, I've told my best friend Michelle and Alex, not even my parents really knew. But I have never told anyone everything that happened. And I'm not sure I ever will. But I do know talking, or writing about it did make me feel a little relieved

To my loving sister

Tonight I watched my sister cry
She cried about her first love

He hurt her. He manipulated her. He lied

She doesn't understand how someone who was so great

Can turn around and be so horrible and hurtful

Tonight I watched my sister cry

I saw and I heard the hurt in every tear.

She says its her fault he was like this

She says she will never love anyone again

She says she doesn't want to.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.

I couldn't tell her about what happened to me.

I couldn't tell her why the boy I thought loved me,

Hit me so much the night of homecoming Jr. Year,

Cause my mom and sister did my hair and makeup

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister

The boy I thought loved me, threw me down on the ground,

And banged my head repeatedly against the ground,

because he thought I was telling my aunt, who he really was.

I stood aside, and I couldn't tell her.

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister what it was like,

to be called every name in the book.

Instead of endearing terms like babe, or honey.

I couldn't tell her I knew what it was like,

to be played, hurt, and altogether broken.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.

Cause I was ashamed

I was ashamed of what happened to me.

I was ashamed I lost all my friends and likes of my family

And I was ashamed it took me so long to realize.

I NEEDED OUT

I Need to tell my sister.

You will fall in love again

I need to tell my sister.

You will find that someone.

That treats you like a queen.

That loves you no matter what.

And that would NEVER hurt you.

I need to tell my sister.

Everything will be alright.

I found someone who is more than amazing.

I found someone loves me for who I am.

I found Love again.

I. The girl that was supposed to not be worth anything.

I. The one who he meant to tear down to nothing.

I DID

As much as it sounds like this, I'm not trying to get a pity party. It's just, I watched my sister hurt the way I hurt, and I didn't even know how to tell her it would be ok. If I was supposed to have gone through what I did for a reason, why can't I tell her it's going to be alright?

I really need help how to tell her everything is going to be alright. I love both my sisters so much. And if I could have one wish, It would be for them to never hurt like I did. I need help about what to say to my sister. I just don't know what I can say to make it ok.

Any help anyone has would be great. Thanks so much. And please pray for my little sister. Pray for her not to hurt anymore.

Just a Few

With it being Christmas coming up I have a few things in mind I would like...

VANS...IN EVERY COLOR!!

But mostly Purple Blue Yellow Pink and Red :)

RayBans! Want these sooo bad..wanted them for like 3 years now

Thats about it for the list...Other than that clothes or giftcards.

Or maybe something shiny that fits on a finger

But thats probably a no sad day

It's baaaack!

Happy October Everyone!!

(yes I understand AZ doesnt look like this quite ye...ever)

Can I just say how excited I am?! I love this time of year

Reason #1. Alex and I went to cheesecake factory last night

and since it was the 1st of Oct. They had this

Pumkin Cheesecake

To DIE for!

Reason #2.

That right! It's finally cooling down!

The mornings and evenings are just Beautiful!

Reaon #3. I love Love LOVE the smells of the season!

YUM!

Now for what I'm not gonna love

1. Holiday Treats

2. The scale.

I HAVE to avoid all the food and gaining weight this year!! It gets me every time!

3.

I am SOOO stressed about buying presents this year!

I love getting presents for people and shopping and all of it! But I really dont have the money this year, as much as I do want to get people nice things.

All the rest

Here is a recap of my little life.

Well, In July my uncle Kyle got me a job at the K, the circle K, and to be honest, Im not hatin it.

See now I'm all bad and ready to handle the hooligans

And this is still underwraps as of now but there is a very high good chance that I may be getting a job at an office, as receptionist! Im so very excited! But shhh its still not a total go

In other news, I've been excersizing quite a bunch, mostly running, lifting weights also, but thats not the point of this. I'm seeing if anyone wants to start running with me outside now that its gonna start to get cooler, and i need a running buddy. It just works out better that way :)

I've been wanting to move out for a while sooo bad. I found the most perfect place every! Its incredible and I'm so going to move! I either wanna save for a couple months so I can be good to move out by myself, or find a roommate, I'm good with either! But if anyone knows anyone who is looking let me know!

California

So I'm gonna start updating where I left off, and it seems that I have quite a lot of updating to do.

In July me and me familia, headed out to California to go to the beach for a few days. And it was a blast!

Love Huntington!

Yes it was bright

Sandy kids

Everyone here looks special haha

Glene

mom and dad

haha

afterward we had a bonfire!

yay for roasting starburst!

and weenies!

Yes! My boyfriend wears jeans and plaid, Why, cause I love it!!