Johan's not so funny, yet now hilarious birth story

I had my sweet baby boy Johan Michael on December, 19 2012 at 12:53 pm weighing 6lbs 15oz 20 3/4"
He is so beautiful and perfect and so much more than I ever expected.

I wanted to tell his birth story cause its something I never wanna forget and definitely not what I ever expected.

I spare no details, so if you don't wanna know, don't read haha

I guess it all started the weekend before, well actually the whole week before.  I had been saying forever how I was going to have him 2 weeks early, I don't know why, I just had a feeling. Since I hit 37 weeks I had been trying anything and everything to naturally induce labor.  I mean every old wives tales I did.  I did stadium stairs, walked everyday a ton, spent my days bouncing on an exercise ball. We had tons of sex, I was taking evening primrose oil, I mean everything(minus castor oil cause I heard that can make baby poop, no bueno).  The nurse told me that the new chief of midwifery and his wife swore by eggplant parmesean to naturally induce.  Said it worked every time all 8 kids. My birthday was Thursday, then Friday our anniversary.  I started the day by getting a massage, hoping the labor pressure points would work, then me and Alex went to the mall and walked for a couple hours.  Then for dinner we went out to a really nice local restaurant and I got eggplant parmesean.   I got to 38 weeks on Saturday the 15th and after all of that I had  totally given up hope that my baby would come early.  But nevertheless I walked a little more that day, then for dinner I went and got eggplant parmesean to go at olive garden. Then me and Alex ended the night, at 11:30 pm by going off-roading in our jeep haha I'm tellin ya, I was determined.(side note, I was so determined because I was scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks because of blood pressure issues and I did NOT want to be induced, I wanted to go naturally)  We did have a really great time night off-roading and it was kind of our last fun special thing we did as a two person family.
Fast forward to Sunday night. At about 10:00  I started bleeding(mucousy blood) and having really bad cramps. I text my cousin who works at an OB office to see what I should do.  She said to start timing them and take tylenol, chug a ton of water, take a warm bath and see if they go away and if they do its not real labor.  I did all that and nothing made them go away and they got slightly stronger.  I tried to go to bed but the pain was so bad I couldn't sleep.  So at 4:30 Monday morning I woke Alex up and told him I needed to go to the hospital. We got there and I got hooked up to the monitor.  They were still happening about ever 5-8 min I think but nothing was showing up on the monitor.  I got checked and I was at a nothing.  Most frustrating thing ever.  False alarm, so I wasn't in labor.  They told me they didn't know why I was cramping and sorry but go home and deal with it.  So we went home and and got absolutely no relief.  I was just hoping that when I went to my twice weekly NST they would be able to do something.  My appointment was a 1pm.  Again, hooked up to the monitors there.  No contractions, not a one.  But I sure was "cramping"  actually one got so bad I cried. weak I know but it was bad. I told the nurse about what was going on, she went and talked to the doctor. "Sorry we can't do anything, if you get in severe pain go to L&D and see if they could give you something to relieve the pain or sleep".  Ughhh so back home I went, in even more pain.  At this point everytime I had a "cramp" I would get shooting pains in my hips. Monday night, another night of not a wink of sleep.  Just pain pain pain allll night.  Tuesday was baaaad, having no sleep for so long and tons of pain I was just delirious.  I can't really recall anything I did that day besides trying to deal with pain.  I was having "cramps" every 3-5 min at night I couldn't do anything.  I couldn't sit still couldn't stand still.  I was up and down and on the floor, and on all fours, the back sitting then sitting on my knees.  I was going to the bathroom ever 5 min cause I just felt like I had to poop so bad.  Every time I wan't on the toilet I was desperately  crossing my legs cause I felt like I was gonna poop my pants, then when I was on the toilet nothing.  I was getting shooting pains in my hips and down my thighs every time and shaking, moaning, and crying.  Then at about 11:00 pm, every time I stood or moved kind of I would feel a little gush of water.  Smarty me just thought I was peeing my pants a little, no joke.  So all the above mentioned symptoms lasted till about 5:00am till I finally couldn't handle the pain.  I told Alex we needed to go to the hospital so I can see if I can get something to sleep cause I couldn't handle the pain anymore and I had never been so sleep deprived in my life.
 We get to L&D and I tell them why I'm there and how I went in 2 days ago and wasn't having contractions, they were cramps and I wasn't dilated at all. The nurse put her hand on my stomach and goes, "yep thats a contraction, and a strong one, holy cow." I get hooked up to the monitors and my contractions are barley showing up but the nurse can tell they are much stronger then they're shown. I get checked and one of the doctors doesn't say anything, he asks the nurse to double check and she goes "ya I have a 7-8 hes right there all I feel is the hair" Holy crap holy crap.  WHAT?! I ask her 7-8 what and she says centimeters.  Me and Alex are freaking out now.  Everyone told me I wasn't in labor.  No wonder I was in so much pain! I called my mom and funny thing is she was actually coming in that same day.  She ended up getting in 3 hours after he was born.  Perfect timing.  Anyway they quickly took me get blood work to send so I can get an epidural.  I know it's like I was so close but I couldn't handle the pain anymore, my body needed the rest. I had to get the epidural. I got the put in a room and got the epidural not too long after luckily.  Also luckily after I got the epi my contractions slowed way down.  I know this doesn't sound good but I was entirely unprepared and my body needed the rest before it was time to start pushing. They decided to start pitocin at like 11-1130ish geez I can't even remember.  Then at 12:35-40ish it was I started pushing, ps my epi ran out at about 12:15 so alll of this I could totally feel, everything.  but I'm glad I got the experience to feel the birth.  Anyway after just 15 min of pushing, Johan came into the world.  It really is the most amazing experience and feeling ever.  I have never been overcome with so much love and emotion.
 Just after he was born
About 4 days later.
gahh hes just so beautiful I can't stand it!
Love this sweet boy

So far everything has been beyond perfect.  He's breastfeeding great ever 2-3 hours.  I usually have to wake him up and make him cause he sleeps so much.  The only time he has cried so far is when I do have to wake him up and feed him, but then he calms down when he realizes he's gonna eat haha.  Seriously I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like missing a step cause its been so great.  I've been sleeping with him on my chest at night cause he sleeps so amazing, in his bassinet, not so much.  I blame myself for that though, he didn't sleep in his bassinet in the hospital once haha.  Oh well, I love it, I might thing different later on but for now I love it.  Alex is the perfect dad.  I love watching him with Johan.  I am just so incredibly overwhelmingly happy right now.  So grateful and blessed for my life. 


MichelleKoglmeier said...

I am so so so so happy for you! I cried reading this. I remember each one of my kids births so vividly. I really is the most amazing thing. I am really glad the the experience was (mostly) good for you. I love you and I am so proud of you. I can't wait to hold him! Tell him aunty Michelle loves him and read him the book I gave him :) <3

MichelleKoglmeier said...

*It is so amazing.

Fran said...

Oh my gosh that's funny but not really, I can't imagine the kind of pain you were experiencing and thinking they were just cramps!

He's the cutest little guy!

Cassidy Healey said...

That's really beautiful sash! :) And he really is such a gorgeous baby! love you!