To my loving sister

Tonight I watched my sister cry
She cried about her first love
He hurt her. He manipulated her. He lied
She doesn't understand how someone who was so great
Can turn around and be so horrible and hurtful

Tonight I watched my sister cry
I saw and I heard the hurt in every tear.
She says its her fault he was like this
She says she will never love anyone again
She says she doesn't want to.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.
I couldn't tell her about what happened to me.
I couldn't tell her why the boy I thought loved me,
Hit me so much the night of homecoming Jr. Year,
Cause my mom and sister did my hair and makeup

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister
The boy I thought loved me, threw me down on the ground,
And banged my head repeatedly against the ground,
because he thought I was telling my aunt, who he really was.
I stood aside, and I couldn't tell her.

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister what it was like,
to be called every name in the book.
Instead of endearing terms like babe, or honey.
I couldn't tell her I knew what it was like,
to be played, hurt, and altogether broken.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.
Cause I was ashamed
I was ashamed of what happened to me.
I was ashamed I lost all my friends and likes of my family
And I was ashamed it took me so long to realize.


I Need to tell my sister.
You will fall in love again
I need to tell my sister.
You will find that someone.
That treats you like a queen.
That loves you no matter what.
And that would NEVER hurt you.

I need to tell my sister.
Everything will be alright.

I found someone who is more than amazing.
I found someone loves me for who I am.
I found Love again.
I. The girl that was supposed to not be worth anything.
I. The one who he meant to tear down to nothing.


As much as it sounds like this, I'm not trying to get a pity party. It's just, I watched my sister hurt the way I hurt, and I didn't even know how to tell her it would be ok. If I was supposed to have gone through what I did for a reason, why can't I tell her it's going to be alright?

I really need help how to tell her everything is going to be alright. I love both my sisters so much. And if I could have one wish, It would be for them to never hurt like I did. I need help about what to say to my sister. I just don't know what I can say to make it ok.

Any help anyone has would be great. Thanks so much. And please pray for my little sister. Pray for her not to hurt anymore.


Ben Brauer said...

Reading this made me cry because I don't want to see any of my kids hurt. Sometimes I feel bad because I didn't know what was going on with you at the time and I couldn't help you. You are a loving sister who cares for her sisters, just put your arms around her and let her know you love her, and maybe just sit with her and listen, I think she needs that right now. You have a big heart, and I love that you care so much, also talk with your mom, she can be a big help, I love you. Dad

Netanya said...

Wow, Sasha, you're amazing. For you to feel happy now in the face of what happened is amazing. I know people who have gone through similar circumstances that have never been able to get past it. So you are AMAZING. As for whatever happened to one of your sisters there really isn't anything you can say, you can just be there. The pain has to run it's course, if it didn't then there's something wrong, but when her tears start to dry, maybe let her know that it's just one more step she is taking in becoming who she is meant to be. You take things good or bad and learn and grow from them. It hurts now, and it will for a while, but she will become a stronger person in spite of all the pain. She is lucky to have you.

Molly said...

Just be there for her. Especially if you didn't have that when you needed it, be what you wish you had had.
1 Jn. 4: 18
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
That goes for how our saviour loves us, and how we know we love others and they love us back.
"Perfect love casteth out fear"
Thats how I knew I loved my husband.
And I wasn't scared of him like I was my dad.
Love is sort of a tricky emotion. Especially when you feel like you should love someone or feel obligated to love them.
You were placed in the family you are in by a wise and loving Heavenly Father. He knows your sister would need you, and maybe not that you would know what to say, but that you would know how to listen. I'm glad you have Alex. =)

Liz and Spencer Harring said...

Sasha! that was probably the most touching thing i have ever read! I am soooo sorry for what had happened and for what is now going on! You all deserve the best and i am so glad you are happy!!! She eventually will find happiness also! Just be there for her through these hard times and she will feel your love and she will find heavenly fathers loves!! I love you guys!!

M'liss said...

As painful as it is to go through the rough times in our lives, it will give experience and the compassion that we will need to help our Brothers and Sisters when they are faced with the same trials. And if we can help them avoid the same mistakes, or comfort them when they hurt, then it has not been in vain. That's why Christ had to suffer for all the sins of the world, then he can truely say " I understand how you feel".

Marla said...

sasha you trully are an amazing girl we new you went through alot but never really new everything i just want you to know how much i love and suport you with what ever you do in your life i just want you to know how much i love you you make my day when i see you i just wish the best for you i love you tons and i am so glad that you have alex he is an amazing person i just love you both love the best aunt in the world :)marla