Stuff on my mind

First of I would like to proudly announce Thrusday will be my last day at the K!!
After which I will start my new job on Monday!
Which consist of...
1. No weekend
2. No nights 1-7 baby!
3. Better pay. About 55-60 more a week
4. No rude and creepy customers
5. A whole lot of driving. I love driving
6. I can start finally caring about how I look and what I wear! Get to be cute again!
I'm so excited! I'm starting a new job as a nanny to a family in North Scottsdale. They have 2 twin 14 year olds and 3 triplet 12 year olds. Basically my job will be taking them to all their lessons and doing errands. I'll be making more and have about 10 less hours a week I have to work. And the best part is, I can finally start getting cute! This sounds wierd but when I work at circle K, I get all showered and nice but I just end up gross end of the day, like seriously circle K smells soooo bad.
Secondly, I have a bit of sad news. I have a serious love hate relationship with carbs. Like I love them, and they hate me..sad. Anyways so begining tomorrow Im cutting all ties with this heatbreaker. Yep, I'm planning on kicking my butt, with eating and in the gym. I've been loosing weight, I just need to make sure I do stay away from all the food bad for me. For sure
C. I Love my boyfriend. Like seriously he is amazing. I for reals laugh sooo much when I'm with him. Like he put me in tears tonight from laughing so much.
And Lastly. Thanks for everyone and thier nice comments and good advise. Its funny cause my mom was saying how she was suprised I wrote that on my blog for the world to see, and she said I really must be healing. I guess maybe talking about it is sort of healing. The thing is I've never really told anyone about what happened, I've told my best friend Michelle and Alex, not even my parents really knew. But I have never told anyone everything that happened. And I'm not sure I ever will. But I do know talking, or writing about it did make me feel a little relieved


To my loving sister

Tonight I watched my sister cry
She cried about her first love
He hurt her. He manipulated her. He lied
She doesn't understand how someone who was so great
Can turn around and be so horrible and hurtful

Tonight I watched my sister cry
I saw and I heard the hurt in every tear.
She says its her fault he was like this
She says she will never love anyone again
She says she doesn't want to.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.
I couldn't tell her about what happened to me.
I couldn't tell her why the boy I thought loved me,
Hit me so much the night of homecoming Jr. Year,
Cause my mom and sister did my hair and makeup

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister
The boy I thought loved me, threw me down on the ground,
And banged my head repeatedly against the ground,
because he thought I was telling my aunt, who he really was.
I stood aside, and I couldn't tell her.

Tonight I couldn't tell my sister what it was like,
to be called every name in the book.
Instead of endearing terms like babe, or honey.
I couldn't tell her I knew what it was like,
to be played, hurt, and altogether broken.

Tonight I watched my sister cry.
Cause I was ashamed
I was ashamed of what happened to me.
I was ashamed I lost all my friends and likes of my family
And I was ashamed it took me so long to realize.


I Need to tell my sister.
You will fall in love again
I need to tell my sister.
You will find that someone.
That treats you like a queen.
That loves you no matter what.
And that would NEVER hurt you.

I need to tell my sister.
Everything will be alright.

I found someone who is more than amazing.
I found someone loves me for who I am.
I found Love again.
I. The girl that was supposed to not be worth anything.
I. The one who he meant to tear down to nothing.


As much as it sounds like this, I'm not trying to get a pity party. It's just, I watched my sister hurt the way I hurt, and I didn't even know how to tell her it would be ok. If I was supposed to have gone through what I did for a reason, why can't I tell her it's going to be alright?

I really need help how to tell her everything is going to be alright. I love both my sisters so much. And if I could have one wish, It would be for them to never hurt like I did. I need help about what to say to my sister. I just don't know what I can say to make it ok.

Any help anyone has would be great. Thanks so much. And please pray for my little sister. Pray for her not to hurt anymore.


Just a Few

With it being Christmas coming up I have a few things in mind I would like...


But mostly Purple Blue Yellow Pink and Red :)

RayBans! Want these sooo bad..wanted them for like 3 years now

Thats about it for the list...Other than that clothes or giftcards.

Or maybe something shiny that fits on a finger

But thats probably a no sad day


It's baaaack!

Happy October Everyone!!

(yes I understand AZ doesnt look like this quite ye...ever)
Can I just say how excited I am?! I love this time of year

Reason #1. Alex and I went to cheesecake factory last night

and since it was the 1st of Oct. They had this

Pumkin Cheesecake

To DIE for!

Reason #2.

That right! It's finally cooling down!

The mornings and evenings are just Beautiful!

Reaon #3. I love Love LOVE the smells of the season!


Now for what I'm not gonna love

1. Holiday Treats

2. The scale.

I HAVE to avoid all the food and gaining weight this year!! It gets me every time!


I am SOOO stressed about buying presents this year!

I love getting presents for people and shopping and all of it! But I really dont have the money this year, as much as I do want to get people nice things.