3.24.2011

Getting Harder

and if you said "that's what she said" before you opened this, then we can be friends.

Anywhays.
I've been holding together real well the last 2 months, like perfectly in public. I hate showing people I'm sad. But right now I feel like I just need to let it out.
This week has been really hard. One because I've talk to Alex twice in the last week for about 10 min each. They had to limit the bandwidth in Korea for the relief in Japan. So Alex hasn't had internets. I guess another reason it's been hard is because it really hit me that we have a lot longer to go. Seven months to be exact, and I know it could be worse, but still, it sucks.
I'm just really hoping this feeling doesn't hang around long. I've cried a lot this week, and I'm just tired of feeling this way. I just want my husband back.
I'm living at my parents right now, and I'm so grateful that we get to save this money, and my family is great, no complaints here. I know it's stupid but I just want to be on my own. I loved living in August, and being on my own(mostly haha) and just having my own space. I want that right now so bad!

I'm trying to keep myself so busy. I'm going to school and that takes up a good amount of time. I've been going to gym incessantly, at least once usually twice a day. Been hiking with the dogs. I've lost 12 pounds so far, and have x amount to go (it's a lot so let's not even try to guess)but I'm gettin there! My bones and muscles seriously hurt so bad from how much I'm working out.

I just realized I'm rambling a lot. But what I'm trying to say is, i don't like hibernate in my room and act depressed. I'm always out and cheery and doing everything to stay busy and happy. Yet I can't seem to shake this stupid funk.
Gahhh I just miss my husband

Any suggestions about what else I can do?



2 comments:

kirstieJayy said...

i am the same as you. i have just under eight months till my fiance and i can be together, and about 9 months before we can finally move in together! it seems so long away. i havent spoken to him for days (bar the occasional facebook message!) as the base they are at has like no signal!
i am like you, the whole gym idea is very appealing because it keeps me busy :)
also, i find reading a good book helps!
if all else fails, your fellow milspouses always do the trick :)(

Sending Best Wishes from England,
kirstieJayy x

Ashley N. said...

looks like we are going to be friends because the first thing I thought was "thats what she said". Try picking up a hobby or taking a class. It may seem weird but I started learning how to mix drinks when my bf was in AIT.