Crazy Weird

This was on So You Think You Can Dance tonight.

(I can't find a better video yet but I was just to excited so I had to put it up right now)

Back Story- This dance is about a soldier coming home from war and this is him and his wife seeing each other for the first time.

The dancers are Sasha and Alexander.

Seriously I can't get over how crazy this is! We are Sasha and Alexander, and Alex is coming home this week! Like what the heck! How freakin weird is this?!

Yes, I had mad chills and tears.

Really, wow, haha I can't get over how weird it is!

Weigh in Wordless Wednesday Week 4

I was pretty bummed about my loss this week. Another 3lbs down. I know it's not bad, I just wanted it to be more. I just gotta keep telling myself slow and steady wins the race.

This week -3lbs

4 weeks total- 19lbs

Now onto wordless wednesday.

Eeeeekkkkk!!!!

A new way of thinking

Do you have a song that reminds you or someone or something you don't wanna remember. And even though you love the song, you hate it because of that person or thing.

I have this song that I love. But unfortunately it was mine and my ex's "song" I really don't know why, I think it was just because it was one of the first song's we heard together while hanging out and we both knew. Dumb anyway, don't wanna talk to much about that.

I heard this song today while I was tanning. After listening to it for a min I started to think of a different memory, then what I would originally think of when I heard it. And one much more appropriate it seems.

I don't talk about this a lot to anyone. I've mentioned it once on the blog a long time ago. But I find it easier to write about then talk about.

I was in a really abusive relationship before Alex. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The physical abuse was bad. But honestly I would take it any day over what I had to go through mentally. When I was with him I was torn down so bad I wasn't myself anymore. I lost all of my friends and I didn't talk to my family.

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Today after I heard this song, I didn't think about him. I thought about me. I thought about all of my friends and family that forgave me. And I thought about Alex.

Even after we had broke up, it took me a little bit to find myself again. And quite literally right after my transition phase from being a depressed mess, to me again, is when I met Alex. I'm glad I had that time to heal so that I could be completely myself and happy so that Alex and I could have the relationship that we do.

It was kind of a turning point listening to that song and thinking about that transition and how it brought me to where I am today, and who I am.

I know this sound cheesy(and a lot like a rascal flatts song haha) But I am grateful for what I went through in life. Because it shaped me, and most importantly lead me to Alex. I look back and see everything that lead me to him. And really without going through this I don't think I would have met Alex.

I can't say this enough, and I know I don't tell him enough, mostly because I don't quite know how to put my feelings into words, but he is such an amazing man. I can't even descibe the amount of love I have for him. And I love knowing how much he truly loves me. It's quite a feeling. Even being so far apart we really do have such an awesome relationship. Still after every time I talk to him I feel overwhelmed with how much I love him.

I'm glad I can now listen to this song and not feel so much hate.

I'm glad I can now listen to this song and feel sort of at peace.

The Secret

No, not the book that was on Oprah. Although that's good too. Anyways.

I've never been a good runner. Actually anytime I run I usually get shin splints and crazy sore calves by either the first or second day of running. I always stretch, but it never was enough, and I still always got them. It is so frustrating cause I've always wanted to run.

Butttt. I have been running just about every day for the past few weeks. (side note I'm doing Cat's 120 mile challenge) And know what, no shin splints! That's right I have discovered the secret to my shin splints and sore legs! Which also happens to be my new love.

Yoga. Bob Haper Yoga to be specific. I love yoga!! I do it 3 times a week. And Anytime I do feel shin splints coming on I do yoga, and the next time I feel awesome and am back on the treadmill!

Lately I've had these little milestones(big for me) as far as fitness goes. One When I run I go over 2 miles and stay at an even 11 min mile pace. I notice my endurance getting so much better which is awesome. I know it's nothing amazing but for me its pretty good haha. Also something weak but I'm so excited about! I can do 10 man push ups!! Haha I used to do like half of one, as in I slowly lowered down, and couldn't get back up haha. Now I can do 10 pretty fast in a row!

Does anyone else have or had problems with shin splints? How are your fitness goals going?

Also if anyone wants to be a guest blogger while Alex is here let me know!

Annndd. 9 more followers till a giveaway!

Friday Friday

I am so in love with this clip. I can't stop watching it!

Incase you didn't see, I added tabs to the blog. I'm kinda slowly working on making it all nice. I'm gonna be changing the font today to spice it up a little.

I think I'm gonna to a giveaway when I hit 50 followers, only 9 more!!

And I realize saying that on here means I can't take it back. So there it is, giveaway at 50 followers

I'm thinking I might want to have guest bloggers on here while Alex is here. If anyone is interested let me know! You can write about whatever you like! It would be much, much appreciated!

And last but not least. We got orders! We're moving to Fort Bragg, NC!!

Weigh in Wednesday Week 3

This week and I lost another 3 lbs. So in 3 weeks I've lost 16lbs. I wish it could be better but meh, it's keeping up with my goal. And if I want to make my goal weight by October I need to lose 3lbs a week. Don't bother doing the math. haha I have a lot too lose. I also went down 3.5 points in my BMI and like I think 2% body fat gone.

Also since I started losing weight about the end of March, I have lost 32 lbs.

I don't have a lot if any full body pictures, which I wish would have taken to see a difference. But I do have a few of my face so you can see the weight loss in my face. Still not a lot though, cause who likes taking pictures when they're fat? Not me.

side note: until looking at these side by side I didn't realize I had lost that much, weird

So here are the pictures of my face plus 32lbs.

This is end of December

This is middle of March

And this is my face -32lbs taken today

I went to the doctor today, and while there I told here something weird that's been happening since I started this diet. I have not dreams, but nightmares about cheating on my diet about 3-4 times a week. I have nightmares where I'm either being forced to eat of have to eat bad food to avoid starving. Even though its not that bad of food like last night I had to eat a soft taco, the night before wheat thins. And I remember one dream my cousin forced me to eat a piece of bread and butter. And every time I eat it I just cry, then I wake up so worried thinking it was real and I cheated on my diet.

If any dream interpreters are out there let me know what you think! haha

P.S. Oh so so soon till Alex comes home!!

By the end of the week

We should know where our next duty station is! And its about time too! We're 4 months away from PCSing and we still don't know yet. But Alex's branch manager emailed him yesterday with our 3 choices.

It's now between Ft. Bragg, Ft. Hood, & Ft. Bliss. None of these were on my personal list but I would love love to be back in the east coast and so would Alex. So our first choice is Ft. Bragg, then Ft. Hood, which I would still be happy with. But I would be fairly unhappy with Ft. Bliss.

So by the end of the week we should finally know! I'm way excited to start doing some recon :)

*Crossing my fingers we get Bragg* :)

App Share

I thought it would be fun today if I had I little App share. I tell you some of my favorite apps on my phone and you tell me some of yours!

I love my i4. I know it's called an iPhone 4G, But I've always called it an i4. Anyways, I usually always have my phone and or am on my phone, mostly cause I don't like missing calls from Alex. And I keep myself entertained with all my apps. So here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite apps!


1. SKYPE

Nothing better than being able to skype on the go, and to see your husband whenever!

2. MAP MY RUN

I love map my run. This is where I log all my workouts. It helps me keep track of my progress and I'm even able to record a run outdoor and see my pace and mileage.

3. INSTAGRAM

If you haven't tried instagram yet, do! It's a great photo editor!

4. MY COUNTDOWN

I love having this and being able to see the countdowns to dates I'm anticipating, ya know like Alex coming home, yay!

5. TARGET WEIGHT

This is just for recording my weight, and it shows my goal, days till my goal, and lbs left to lose. I especially like how it have a line graph of my weight loss, its fun to see it go down haha

6. WORDS WITH FRIENDS

And of course, the time sucker of my life, words with friends. Careful, it's super addictive!

Those are some of my favorite apps! Now tell me, what are yours?

Weigh in Wednesday. Week 2

I wasn't expecting anything great this week. I've watched enough of The Biggest Loser to know that week 2 is never good. Also the fact it's that time of the month and I feel way bloated. But I still lost so that's good I guess.

Week 2: -3 lbs
Total: -13 lbs

I guess I can't complain much with 13 lbs in 2 weeks. I just hope next week is better. I've been doing this diet for 2 weeks now, and haven't had anything sweet or unhealthy in 2 weeks. Not even a diet soda. I also haven't ate out once in 2 weeks which is like nothing for some people but I usually just eat for me, so I don't like cooking for one. So before this I would usually just grab something somewhere. But I've cooked all my meals for the last 2 weeks, and in that time I realized something, I'm a pretty dang good cook if I say so myself.

Anywhays hope everyone has a happy hump day!
P.S. Alex comes home so soon! Wish it were sooner haha but I'm sure the time will fly :)

Roller Coasters

I put these on Facebook a couple months ago, but I think they're too good not to put on here. A few months after Alex and I started dating we went to California, and while there we went to Knotts Berry Farm , which was my first time going for. Then like 9 months later during spring break we went to six flags, which was my first time there too

We got some pretty golden pictures from the Roller Coasters there.
Note: I love roller coasters, mostly because they freak me out and I love being freaked out. And yes these are totally candid. I would not purposely make my face like this haha






P.S. I wrote in the comments of the first one, "I had only known Alex 3 months after these were taken, I'm really surprised he still wanted to be with me after seeing these." And he said "I saw this picture and knew I had to marry you."
Haha precious, no?

Game Time!

I saw this fun post over here and I was also inspired by this girl to do this.

I noticed I've got some new followers lately, I decided I wanna play a game!

I'll say 3 fun facts about me, then you introduce yourself, with a link to your blog if you have one. Then say 3 fun facts about you.


1. I love the state I live in. So much so I took an Arizona History class last semester, and now I'm always spitting out AZ fun fact in conversations(I was spitting out fun facts long before the class, now I just know more) Yes I am a fool, I know

2. I'm a little bit obsessed with my dogs


3. The husband and I bought our first car together, A Jeep, last October. And I am still in love and still feel like its "the new car" It is also my favorite of the 3 other cars I've owned, including another jeep.

Its a little dirty in this pic cause we were 4 wheeling when it was taken


Now everyone play along with my game! In the comment box introduce yourself then do 3 fun facts! Annnddd GO!!

PhotoBOX

First thanks to everyone and their nice comments. Everyone is so nice.
Second. I forgot to post about something really fun that happened a week ago.

My best friend's son had a birthday party and at the party they had PhotoBOX this is a buisness that my friend's brother and his friend started. It was seriously so much fun. And let me tell you, so worth the money!

If you're in the greater Phoenix area, I highly recommended this! They do weddings and party. I would have loved to have this at my wedding.
Right now they're having a summer deal, so go check it out!

This is the website
This is the FaceBook page

Somer fun pictures we took.










my mom, me and michelle
























Grrr I'm mad some of the cute ones aren't showing up. I'll see if they show up later but you can see all of them on the facebook page or website.. So everyone go check em' out!

Happy June!

I'm so happy it's finally June! This is the month Alex come home for mid tour leave! Seriously can't tell you how excited I am! And two days after he gets here it's his birthday!

I went into the doctor today for my first week check up on the first line therapy program. I lost 10 lbs in a week. Pretty happy about that.

I stuck to my word and didn't cheat once, not even a bite of anything bad. Which was so very hard since we had a huge bbq at my house for Memorial Day. And I didn't have any diet soda. The first like 2-3 days of that I had a headache. But since then I haven't even really noticed I haven't had one. I been really really exhausted this whole week and really irratable. (sorry family and friends) But the doctor said it's totally normal for the first week, and things will get better from here on out. I can already tell that aspect is getting better. But really other than that the diet is going good. I eat every 2-3 hours and I'm not ever hungry. Actually sometimes I have to force myself to eat every 2-3 hours.

Anyway Happy June every one! Hope every one has a good rest of the day.

New Diet

I went to the Doctor today to start the First Line Therapy program.

I really think this is going to be so great. First off, my doctor is awesome! She went explained everything to me so well, and helped me understand a lot.

I think the plan she has me on is going to be so good. I can't wait to start doing it and seeing the changes.

With diets and whatever I've always let myself have like a treat here and there or a free day. But with this I'm so determined to follow it perfectly. Mostly because I have a doctor to confront every week to see if I'm following

I got hooked up to some wires that read my body which my doctor read to make a meal plan just for me.

Here's a breakdown of what my day will look like
I'm at a 1300 calorie intake
2 servings of medical foods(which is a meal replacement bar or shake)
2 servings of concentrated protiens
1 serving of legumes
0 Dairy(no dairy, not one bit, weird, but I'll get used to it)
1 serving of nuts or seeds
2 servings of fruit
3-4(at least) servings of category 1 veggies(the good kind)
1 serving of category 2 veggies(corn, carrots, yams, potatoes)
1 serving of grains(this will be tough at first, I dont eat A LOT of carbs, but still just one grain, like one piece of toast a day)
4 servings of oils(any cooking oils, dressing oils or an 1/8 of an avocado)

I'm supposed to eat every 2 hours
Drink 60-80oz of water
30-45 min exercise 3-4 times a day(do way more than that anyway)
And ready for this, ready?
NO DIET SODA. Now this will be so hard at first cause I am a diet soda addict but I'm going to not have any cause my doc sounds like she knows what she's talking about haha
I have a feeling this is going to shock my body this week haha

Wish me luck with my new eating plan!

Seneca Indian Cleanse

I became a happy camper this week when I finally got the juicer I always wanted!

Yes, this very same beauty. Love it.

I went today today to the Barnes and Noble to pick up this book I've been reading it and let me tell you, I am so excited about it!! It is really a must get and follow!

In the back of the book where some of the diets are I found a Cleanse that I decided to do today. Seneca Indian Cleanse.


I am going in to my doctor to start the Fist Line Therapy Program and I decided for myself before I went in, I wanted to do this Cleanse

I started it today and its a four day cleanse.
The first day is fruits, any and all, besides bananas, and as much as you want.
The second day is herbal teas, as much as you want but no food.
The third day is any and all vegetables you want.
The fourth day is a vegetable broth that you drink all day.

I'm really excited to see how I feel when I finish this. I know it'll be a little bit of a challenge because I am a self proclaimed caffeine addict, mmmm diet soda. But so far it's ok, besides the slight caffeine headache that I'm sure will grow into a bigger one. Ohhh Whell though.

I'll definitely be blogging about how it goes. If anyone has or is going to try let me know!!

Just a Refresher

Thinking about tomorrow, or today for some of you. I just thought I would give you a refresher course in Zombieland Rules for Survival.



Looks fun, no?
Good luck everyone!

P.S. Anyone else LOVE this movie

The best bad news

I've debated for a little bit about writing this, but then I was like mehh it's my blog, and I'm really happy about it, so why not share it, no?


These last lot of months maybe 8 or 9, my body has been all sorts of out of whack. I've gained a lot of weight, have had such a hard time losing it, even though I've been working so hard, unbelievably tired, demonic periods, completely energy lacking, roller coaster of emotions and moodiness, and just so so much other stuff that I won't bore you with. I went to the the doctor back in February and he thought it was probably a thyroid issue. I got my blood work back and what do ya know, It's perfect. Thyroid is good, blood sugar, cholesterol, everything good. I've never been so frustrated I knew my body was not right but the doctor said everything was good and he didn't do anything else, no more test to see if anything else was wrong or anything. I cried so much when I found out I was ok, I just wanted something to be wrong so it could be fixed.

I let it go though for a couple months thinking maybe it was all just in my head, maybe it was just stress. I thought maybe if I just change my way of thinking it would change how my body felt. But sure enough after a couple months of this nothing changed, I still felt the same and frustrated as ever.

A couple weeks ago I decided to go to a gynecologist, which I should have done a long time ago. I went to this really awesome place that does everything there for womens health. I just got my test results back Thursday and sure enough I have a pretty big hormone imbalance. Finally! I have never been so relieved to have something wrong with me! I felt like it was all in my mind and I was crazy for the longest time! Now I can get fixed!

But wait, that's not the best part. Because I have this I qualify for this program they have there. I am going to be going to the nutritionist they have there, they are gonna do a bunch of test and then make a diet plan that is custom to me. I'll go in there every week and weigh and they'll make my weekly diet and workout routine. All I have to do is follow what they make out for me. It's 12 weeks long, and the best part is it is completely covered by insurance!! I don't have to pay a penny!

I am seriously so freakin happy!! I feel silly but I've been crying so much about it! I just can't get over how perfect it is that I went to this doctor, this place is great! And that I get to be in this program, I just feel so lucky. I start this Wednesday and I just can't wait to start FINALLY getting better!!

semi wordless wednesday

me and my cousin and dogs hiking today




my brother, mother, and father in law right after Zach swore into the Navy!!

Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

First off, Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!! Thanks to all spouses for all they do in supporting their family!

Today was actually a really good day. Did I mention my cousin Chelsea came back into town Sunday? No, well she did!! And she's staying till next Friday when we drive up to Utah for our cousin's wedding! Yay! I love hanging out with her! We went to Bahama Bucks this after noon and got some of this deliciousness.


Not my picture by the way, all hers.

Then we played/layed out by the pool, while we learned my dog has a super talent.

Oh ya know, he surfs, whatever no big deal.

Then we went to the mall to get my ghost armor replaced and do some shopping. I got the new white back to my i4, so much better than the grey I had.

I got home and then got a skype call for the hubs!


Although I really didn't wanna be seen today by him cause I had pool/pony tail hair I'm glad I got to see him. Cause seriously doesn't he look good. I know right..all mines :)



We spent a good part of the conversation laughing over all the pictures I was sending him.




This first one is me as a flower, then next freaks alex out. I do look fairly creepy. And the last me me getting saucy with myself hahaha I love camwow!



And to end the night a we alls went to go see Something Borrowed. I thought it was just alright. The movie was really funny, but just too much going on. In chick flicks I wanna go away and feel good inside..but this didn't make my insides feel good.

All in all, a fantasic day!! And another great one is coming up tomorrow, having my brother-in-law's birthday BBQ over here. Party!

And again, Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to all you lovely ladies!! Thank you for you and your husband's service!!

Put me back in place

Today I was going through blogs and I realized, I have it pretty good.

Yesterday I was having a particularly bad day. Crying a lot, and saying "why me" "why us" I kept trying to write about it and how I feel, but I kept deleting it.

I was mad that we had to spend the last year and half of our marriage not together. I get mad that I see people with not the best relationships, that get to see each other every day, and they don't even appreciate being together! While ours is great and we don't get to be together. I was mad that he was gone. I was mad that everyone lately is so happy, either getting married, engaged, having babies, just living together even! I was upset that I'm still living with my parents and sisters, I'm 21 and married, I need to be out by now! I was mad that I couldn't be with the person that makes me happiest, who I have so much fun with.

Today while reading some blogs I got a pretty good kick in the head. I realized, I have it really good. I have an amazing relationship with a man I love more than anything, and I know he loves me. We have a good marriage. Throughout our over four years of being together we have never really fought. A few arguments here and there but really, thing are SO good, and seeing others blogs and their relationship makes me grateful for the love we have for each other. I have an amazingly hard working husband, who makes me so proud. He is working so hard, doing school and work, I am so SO grateful for him! I'm able to live with my parents while Alex is away, which is saving us a lot of money. We aren't struggling with money right now. . And in todays economy, that is always a good thing to be able to say. Me living at home is also allowing me to be able to just focus on school this semester and not have a job. We have an amazing family. I love my big family and I'm so grateful for all of them, and my in-laws. I hear horror stories about in-laws, and I know I got really lucky with mine!

I know everyone is going through their own struggles

Sometimes it really just helps to sit down and remember all of your blessings. I really am so grateful for all that I have!

And while some days still might not be the best, and I may get down. I know that I have amazing days ahead to look forward to, and an incredible man to miss and anticipate seeing.